One of the most pivotal elements in our lives is who we choose to surround ourselves with. Friendship groups, family, and life partners significantly impact who we are and how we interact with the world. This is why the person we choose to spend the most time with, our spouse or life partner, is vital to our wellbeing. They greatly impact who we are and where we go in life.
We at Relationship Minded believe that who you decide to associate with romantically and eventually marry profoundly impacts every aspect of your life – from your physical and mental health, finances, and career to the overall quality of life you will enjoy. A deep-rooted, secure relationship provides the right environment where two individuals can invest in themselves and each other. In addition, research agrees that who you marry can significantly affect your level of success. People with supportive spouses are “more likely to give themselves the chance to succeed,” according to a study published by psychologists from Carnegie Mellon University. “Or they can hinder your ability to thrive by making it less likely that you’ll pursue opportunities for growth.”
Love Yourself, Invest in Yourself
If you agree that who you date and eventually marry profoundly impacts your life, then you must ask yourself, “Are you investing enough time, effort, and thought into it?”
“Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship. It takes two wholes.”
As matchmakers, we tell each of our clients that finding love and developing a genuine lasting relationship starts with YOU. So before you look at a single profile or go out on a first date, you need to understand yourself and your priorities and have a healthy relationship with yourself.
Singles have gorged on rom-coms for decades and have fed on the idea that you are inherently incomplete and need that special someone to complete yourself. But when two halves come together expecting to complete one another, they just end up with two fractions. No other person can make you whole; you must be whole and know it when you enter the relationship, and they, in turn, must know the same thing about themselves.
We, as matchmakers, expect our clients to be ready to invest a significant amount of time in what we call Self Discovery. We will work together to undo what society and media have trained you to do, to stop looking for fulfillment outside of yourself and commit to a lifetime of growth.
Matchmaking based on Values
Self-Awareness, Integrity, Respect, and Kindness – these values take a lifetime to foster. And if these and similar values are the pillars on which love and relationships rest, how do you meet a person who believes in and values the same principles as you?
By dating slowly and mindfully.
If you accept or reject a person within a fraction of a second based on a photograph, you’re not even remotely interested in that person’s values. In addition, if you are sending and receiving cookie-cutter messages on online dating sites, how will you ever know if you came across a person who believes in the same things as you? Who has the same aspirations? Who is ready to be successful in love?
“Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in ten years.”
If a lasting, secure relationship based on common core values is such a meaningful thing to have, then why are we not willing to work for it? Why do we expect to be in such a relationship in the next six months? Is such a deadline realistic or even healthy? We think the answer is a slow and involved process, and we are here to guide you through that.